I know it has been awhile since I have posted. There is no good excuse really, just been a little side tracked. However, something has weighed heavy on my heart these passed few days, that I have been compelled to write about.
Most of my blog readers are aware that I have been dealing with some physical issues that have been causing me, great discomfort and pain to my neck & back. To date there isn’t any major cause for alarm, though I am undergoing more tests to determine the cause of the pain. I share this here only because it relates to the topic of my post.
Over one year ago, I was struggling to forgive someone who seemed to constantly do things that were very hurtful. I took it to prayer and asked Christ to teach me how I was supposed to not only forgive, but continue to love this person? Christ used my neck pain to remind me that He himself is the greatest example of this by forgiving and loving those who hurt him. I could picture him carrying his cross, and falling down, but continually getting back up to continue the mission He came to fulfill. I found myself asking, “Why?” I realized, the only way to complete his mission, was to get up and move forward. He loves us so much; he wants to give each of us the opportunity to spend eternity with Him and the only way to do this is to be obedient to the Father, who is Love. So he gets up again, and again.
Recently, I had another realization. Many things are unclear as far as the test results, and I have experienced complications with physiotherapy, which have caused more questions. The other day, as I was reciting the Angelus at noon hour, the words of our Blessed Mother that I recite everyday, suddenly struck me as if it were the first time I said them. “Let it be done to me according to your word” For the first time, I made these words my own, and repeated them a few times.
I was reminded also, that with Holy Week coming up, I can also reflect once again on Christ’s example of suffering. For Christ also made a similar prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. Mathew 26:42 “If this cup cannot pass from me, your will, not mine, be done”. He did not come to take away suffering, but to give it meaning.
As much as I pray for the pain to go away, I have now been able to put this in God’s hands. Reassured that he loves me and knows what is best for me. Whatever lessons I must learn from this suffering, I will wait and pray that I recognize the lessons. I will continue to offer up my suffering to make up for my own sinfulness and for the sins of the whole world. In this way, I share in Christ’s mission. Holy Thursday will take on whole new meaning for me this year.
Will it take on new meaning for you? What form of suffering or uncertainties are you facing? Will you join me in meeting Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane and surrender to His will?
Image: The Passion of Christ movie - 2004
