The Value of Daily Routines

The Value of Daily Routines

A thought occurred to me today as I raced against time to get everything done on my imaginary to-do list.

A few months ago I read Holly Pierlot’s book “ A Mothers Rule of Life” and since applying what I learned in this book to my daily life, I have been pretty consistent. Then this week there was an unexpected change of events in our family, which threw my routine out of order, and I so I spent most of today trying to make up for lost time.

Somebody’s paying the price for this; I won’t mention how my son’s have spent most of the day.

The thought that came to me was how much I have come to value or even rely on having a daily schedule, and how much peace it has brought to our home. What did I ever do without it?

I realized I could say the same about my spiritual life. Before I truly encountered Christ, and had a scheduled prayer life, how did I ever get through life without prayer?

If I don’t commit to a schedule to get housework done, then I quickly realize that it is Saturday and now I have to catch up on laundry and cleaning all in one day. This can happen also with our prayer life, don’t we realize when we are inches deep in a struggle that perhaps we should turn to prayer, and we play catch up with God.

I can’t tell you why I didn’t learn this lesson at a younger age, but I know I want to impart this lesson on my children. When they have a school assignment they have a few weeks to complete, I will help them with creating a schedule to complete the assignment little by little, instead of allowing it to be completed the night before the due date.

This all points back to realizing that time is a gift, and we really need to be conscience of how we spend our time, instead of playing catch up we really should divide our day and approach tasks, little by little.

This way today I could have spent a few minutes with my boys, instead of attempting to catch up on time lost with them on another day. When we get into this habit, I am sure our children will grow up way too fast and when we are ready for a catch up day they won’t want to spend catch up days with us.

Be Not Afraid of Pesky Bugs

This passed weekend I had that amazing opportunity once again to attend a silent retreat. As usual with these weekends, I had no idea what was in store for me, what aspect God wanted me to work on in order to help me move forward in my spiritual life. The grace of these silent retreats has always been awesome to me; in the silence of our hearts we can truly sense God’s presence. I cannot express my gratitude in mere words for the holy priests who led the meditations this weekend as they allowed the Holy Spirit to work through them to reach the depths of our hearts and souls.

One thing that was revealed to me this weekend, which I must share with you, came to me in the words of Christ ( John 6:20) and our Holy Fathers, late Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI “BE NOT AFRAID”

During a break, I was taking time to reflect on the last meditation and thought it would be nice to implore Our Blessed Mother’s intercession, by physically spending some time with a statue of her. Outside the retreat centre, is a Rosary lane, and at the end of Rosary lane there was a statue of Mother Mary, holding the Christ child. It was in a nice shady area and there was a bench where one could sit and contemplate and be surrounded by nature.

I am not very fond of insects, especially one’s that insist on landing, crawling or buzzing any where near me. Well, as I sat on this bench, the whole time, there were these little insects, not much bigger than fruit flies that kept flying around me and landing on my arms and hands. Needless to say I was annoyed, and very distracted. I sat there for less than a minute I am sure, before I gave up on the idea and went back inside.

Once I was back inside, in a bug-free zone, I sensed that Mother Mary had used this to show me something. “Are not those pesky bugs, like the fears I have that stunt my spiritual growth?”
What sort of things are we afraid of in life? Are we afraid …
… God will ask too much of us, if we truly say “YES” to his will?
… of watching our children turn away from God, or are we afraid of watching them suffer?
… to truly face our own sinfulness?
… of making the necessary changes we need to make in our career, or our family life.
…to detach ourselves from material things.

Our fears that seem huge to us as we live our lives here on earth, to God in Heaven must look like those pesky bugs. Truly, those little bugs were not even stinging me, they were just landing and crawling and flying, but it was enough to make me change my path, my course of action. If they were stingers; surely I would have had more reason to fear the pain and consequences. In most cases though, insect bites cause a little annoyance, itchiness that will last a few days and then be gone.

Sometimes, fear is a good motivator for us to avoid what may be harmful to our souls. In this case, Mother Mary was showing me that the fears I have are unwarranted and even ridiculous in the grand scheme of things. She showed me that I am allowing those pesky bugs to hold me back from doing what is best for me and my family.

Of course in choosing to follow Christ, there will be struggles, Christ said himself, “pick up your cross and follow me” ( Matthew 16:24) “Do not let your hearts be troubled, have faith.” ( John 14:1) “I will be with you until the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

Blessed Mother, I pray more and more souls will turn to you with their fears. That we will not be intimidated by your holiness, and instead implore your help to be able to say a resounding “YES’ to the call of your loving Son; with your example of faith, hope and love we will strive to live by your example in the same humility, piety and courage you showed as you accepted your vocation, help us to accept ours.

The Value of Attending Silent Retreats: Part II

I realize my last post focused more on discerning reasons we might refuse the invitation to attend a silent retreat. It came to me today that I should add my own personal experience and why I have come to truly value attending these retreats.

Many times I asked myself, “How can I keep my children grounded in their Catholic faith? How can I ensure that my husband and my boys truly feel God’s love?”

Realizing that what helped me to recognize Christ in the Catholic Church was not just the example that my own parents provided, by attending mass weekly, being involved in our Parish community, encouraging family rosary and attending retreats and formative conferences themselves.

My spiritual journey has also been strengthened by the sacrifices I have made in the time I have devoted to attend retreats, formative talks and to participate in adult Catechesis programs. My children are young, and I don’t know for certain what their journey ahead will be, or what choices they will make. I can say without a doubt that if my own parents’ example left an impression on me (good or bad), I know my example will leave an impression on them.

Our children will see right through us, if we are not sincerely living as Catholics that is the example they will take with them. If we are not keeping Christ first in our lives, how can we expect them too? I can preach to my children all day, but we all know, that what I say is drowned out by the example I give them everyday.

If I want a good chance at my children remaining good Catholics, then I have to be a good Catholic myself. If I want my children to feel God’s love, then I have to know God’s love myself.

A weekend away, or a program to help me learn my faith may seem like a sacrifice at first, but this is all part of the example I provide, and while providing the example I take advantage of growing closer to Christ. The example is not a show I put on for my kids; it’s a natural part of growing in friendship with Christ. If you have read my post on “Meditation on Gods Love”
it may clarify the point I am trying to make here.

Again, I understand that sometimes there is a good reason for missing out, but acknowledge that you are missing out. The wonderful gift of “free will” allows us to make this choice. I pray then that you resolve to deal with challenges and look forward to attending future retreats.

The Value of Silent Retreats

What is the value of a silent retreat? I personally feel that this is worth much prayer and contemplation, as I have come to realize that the invitation to attend a silent retreat comes from Christ alone. Christ wants each of us to live in a close friendship with him. He knows, that most of us are busy women, struggling to maintain our daily routines of caring for our family, working and managing our home, while attempting to balance a good prayer life as well.

Once we acknowledge that the invitation comes from Christ, we understand that there will be challenges. Why? Well, lest we forget that Satan doesn’t want us to get closer to Christ, in fact he wants us women to be busy, tired and stressed out, this way we cannot nurture the friendship that Christ is calling us to have with him.

I am not trying to dismiss or minimize some very valid reasons for not attending retreats. However, I sense Christ is asking us, to truly examine our reasons or excuses for not attending. This must be done in a spirit of prayer. While it is true that Satan will provide us with many excuses not to attend, acknowledge that at first glance the excuses will be masked to appear as very valid reasons. I implore you to also recognize that Christ at times allows these challenges, in order to provide us an opportunity to show Him how much we love Him. Saying to us, “What extent are you willing to go to? I died on the cross for you? I am waiting for you, so that I can bring you through to the joy of the resurrection. Come to me.”

At times we put God on the spot. We see obstacles to our availability to attend the retreat and we say to God, “If you really want me to go, get rid of the obstacles for me.” Depending on His will, this may be enough and he would in fact get rid of the obstacles for you, however, I have learned that even though Christ can do it all on his own, he depends on us to do our part. Just like Mark 6:33-44 teaches us, when the disciples approached him and told him of the dilemma, it was late, the people needed to eat and they should send them away, Christ says “ you feed them” then he takes their little food, five loaves of bread and two fish and he multiplies them into enough food for five thousand.

This is what Christ is waiting to do with our little effort to overcome the obstacles preventing us from saying “yes” to Him. I ask you “What extent are you willing to go to?” Can you say “NO” to Christ?

Image: The Feeding of the Five Thousand by Ambrosius Francken the Elder

Finding Peace

Finding Peace

This time of year I am certain many of us, mothers are beginning to feel busy, as our to do lists start to grow; gardening; spring cleaning; kid’s summer sports starting or about to start; preparing to celebrate 1st Communions or Confirmations; planning to attend a June wedding; graduations; planning summer vacation….. The list is endless and will obviously differ for each of us. No matter the differences, one thing is the same. We are busy.

While this year for me, I have had to “die” to many of the things I would like to get done, as I physically am not able to care for my garden, wash my windows, etc., the to-do list is sill in my head, while I accept that many things may not get done this year. I am reminded that we should never take for granted our physical ability to do work.

I also feel compelled to remind all of us, how important it is that we not give in to the temptation to allow ourselves to get distracted by the busyness of our lives.

As we enter into the 5th Sunday of Easter, which also happens to be a day to remember our Mothers, I think it’s important to take time to reflect on what may be going on in our hearts now. It’s a time when we are tempted to leave behind our Lenten promises to grow closer to Christ, and to make time for prayer, or ensure we are helping those less fortunate.

As our to-do list grows, we must remember to keep our peace, or else we’ll allow Satan to tempt us into resentment. When we become too busy and overwhelmed by all we want to accomplish we begin to have those fleeting thoughts…..if only my husband helped out more, if only my kids were better behaved and more responsible; if only my employer paid me more money; if only… if only…. (You fill in the blank) When we go this route, we’ll be compelled to allow ourselves to justify our resentments, impatience and self righteous thinking. We delude ourselves into believing that our internal peace comes from how others help us meet our goals. When this negative process begins we become uncharitable and selfish, which is exactly where Satan wants us to be.

So where do we find peace in the midst of our busyness? Remember Jesus’ words:

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Let us renew our Lenten promise to pray more, to nurture our relationship with Christ, and to be attentive to the needs of others.

St. Francis de Sales once said: “Each Christian needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy…then we need an hour.”
This Mother’s Day instead of thinking about how we should be rewarded for mothering, let us pray that our Spiritual Mother reveals to us a Mother that is need of support that we can reach out to somehow; whether by prayer or by inviting her for coffee, or offering to watch her kids for an hour or two.

There is a Mother who needs our help right now. A mother who is mourning the loss of a child, mourning a child that is yet to be conceived; A mother who is mourning the loss of her husband or the loss of her own mother. There is a mother who is too ill to help her family; a mother who is lonely in a nursing home, whose family may not come to visit her this Sunday; there is a mother who is being abused; a mother who is dealing with the pain and guilt of abortion; a mother who is lonely, because her husband left her for another; …..

If we are the one’s in mourning, or facing struggles this Mother’s Day, then our prayer to our Blessed Mother could be that She intercede for us, and bring us the support, and the graces we need at this time. Trust that She knows our needs and is watching over us and pleading with her Son to come to our aid.

Be Christ to someone else, for only in Christ will we find peace. Only in Christ will we find purpose and fulfillment in our menial tasks of mothering. Only Christ can show us the dignity of our work. Christ gives meaning to our struggles and our mourning. This way we will not be overwhelmed by our to-do lists, we entrust our list to Christ and He will provide the grace we need, to see clearly what tasks are of most importance. When we place Him first on our list, He will surely bless us.

I leave you with a Gospel quote from where I first encountered Christ, with the woman at the well…

Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life." John 4: 13-14

Image: Our Lady of Guadalupe by Vincent Barzoni

Honesty in Prayer

Honesty in Prayer

As if prayer could be anything but honest…however I am certain I am not the only one who has been foolish enough to think that I could withhold something from Christ. If I don’t bring it up, perhaps we can just skip that part of my life, while I pray on these other matters.

What do we withhold from Christ? In our pride, we may withhold praying for those who hurt us; failing to forgive someone. How do we expect that Christ will answer our prayer before we have truly humbled ourselves and forgiven those who have hurt us?

This is the key; it is once we have humbled ourselves that we can be truly honest in our prayer.

Remember, Christ already knows our thoughts, our words, and our actions. Most importantly He knows our hearts, if we want to truly be close to Him we have to first of all, guard our words and our thoughts, change our hearts, and act always in a spirit of charity, which is love in action.

This calls to mind a story I regularly share with my boys, written by L.J. Sattgast. A story about a boy who is working with his Grandpa in the garden, the boy plants seeds on ground that is filled with rocks. Of course, the flowers do not grow, no matter how much he waters them. So his Grandpa assists him to remove the rocks. In a few days, the garden begins to form with healthy plants & flowers. In the same way, we must remove rocks in our hearts. We form rocks in our hearts when we allow pride to set in, when we don’t’ forgive others, when we judge others, when we are not sincere with Christ.

St. Teresa of Avila said it best “ Pride is when we compare ourselves to others, humility is when we compare ourselves to God” Let us pray that we see ourselves as God does, that we be continually humbled by His presence and His unfailing love for us. Pray that we will treat pride as the poison that is to our souls, that we will continually strive to be rid of pride. Keep our sinfulness always before us Lord, that we may not fall into pride, that we will always approach You with a humble and sincere heart, in order that You may work through our flawed humanity to bring others to know Your love and mercy. Amen

Image: St. Theresa of Avila (1515-82) 1570 by Juan de la Miseria

Meditation on God's Love

Originally written: November 3, 2007

Luke 14: 1,7-11

It is not loving myself that will strengthen the mission Christ has entrusted to me. If I invoke God’s love everyday – that love will flow from me. God’s love is for me to give and not for me to keep. It should be overflowing, outpouring of love to everyone I meet. In loving others I will exult others and humble myself. I must constantly remember that. God’s love is to give to others.

As I love others it will drive me to act and as I shower others with love, I do not lose God’s love. God’s loves edures forever and flows continuously. The more love I have for others, God will continue to shower His love on me. That is why love is the greatest of all things. The power of love is never ceasing. I want to feel this way. To love God above all things. To feel God’s love and to give this love to others.

As I meditate daily on Chirst’s love at the foot of the cross and in his ministry – I see the love he continually shows to His friends, followers and to sinners. I must continuously acknowledge that God loves me this way too. He died for me, he loves me with all my sins, failures and errors. So too, I am called to love others despite their sins, failures and errors.