Healing Power of Forgiveness

As promised here is my musing on the healing power of forgiveness.

First off, let put this in perspective. We recognized in an earlier post that “Our Choices Affect Others” therefore we can conclude that those who are especially close to us, our spouse’s, parents, children, siblings, close friends, etc. all those whom we have a relationship with are interested in maintaining a relationship with us, therefore we naturally make time to spend with those who are close to us, we will share our hopes, dreams our fears and our worries with them. We will talk to them and listen to them, support them and encourage them.

In our human nature we must also recognize that any relationship we are part of will at some point have conflict. We are individuals, with our own weaknesses and flaws that will at some point contradict someone else’s personality flaws and weaknesses. Yet, because we value the relationship, in most cases, (I’d like to think in all cases) we want to make amends and get passed the point of conflict.

In order to do this, it usually means that one of the two persons must recognize their own error and initiate the healing. Yes, one of the two involved in the conflict must be prepared to say a heartfelt “I am sorry.” These three little words can be very tough to say. As mature individuals in a relationship we know, that we are not perfect, that as much as we try we sometimes can be hurtful with our words or actions; we can and do make mistakes. We must take this further at times, and also show how sorry we are. I usually explain it to my children like this: The words “I am sorry” carries three essential ingredients that must be present for it to be sincere
1. I know and acknowledge that I was wrong, and that I hurt you
2. I want to make this better and this is what I will do to correct it
3. I promise to do my very best to ensure that I never do this again

This also means that the other must be prepared to say “I forgive you” In order to be able to forgive, the offended person has to truly feel that the other person really is sorry. It has to be sincere, in human eyes this can be difficult for us to judge, it takes some trusting and risking. That is why the offender must ensure their actions are clear and consistent. When the offended person, fails to trust or take the risk and instead with holds forgiveness, who do you think really pays the price for that unwillingness to forgive? The person who is sincerely sorry? Does it hurt the person who is caring around the hurt and distrust just as much?

Sometimes, we hold on to forgiveness because in our own pride we think that the other person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. The truth is, when we carry around that hurt, that anger, and distrust we are only hurting ourselves. Forgiveness is healing not only for those who want to be forgiven, but also for us who need to forgive. Unless and until there is a sincere apology and forgiveness, this relationship is stunted; there can be no growth or longing to spend time together, because the hurt feelings have not been dealt with.

At this time when we are preparing for Lent, which usually marks a time when we Catholics will also be preparing for our annual or semi-annual Sacrament of Reconcilation I challenge you to keep this in mind. This is how God approaches the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He wants to forgive you; he is waiting for a sincere apology in that confessional, so that you can both be free again to continue to nurture your relationship.

When we do and say things that go against God, our loving Father we choose to distance ourselves from God. God loves you, and he wants to spend time with you, he longs for you to spend time with him, he wants to help you, encourage you and listen to you. But, sin drives a wedge between you and Him. Imagine that God is on the other side of a window. When the window is clean you can see Him and hear him clearly. Now imagine that sin is like dirt that accumulates on that window, making it harder and harder to see him, eventually the window is so bad, perhaps a ball manages to break the glass, and now you can no longer see or hear Him at all. Going to confession, will repair that window and clean it up.

Many approach confession, like a root canal. Dreading every moment of it, and trying to justify why we don’t need to go. “Can’t I just take it to Christ? Why do I have to confess to a priest?”

I always ask, “Why don’t you want to confess your sins to a priest?” Usually the exact reason we don’t like to go, is why we should go. It takes more humility to voice our flaws, to hear ourselves vocalize our sins to another human being. Christ calls us to be humble, he told us to confess our sins to one another. He gave the first 12 apostles authority to forgive sins. The priest is acting on this authority, as successor of the first apostles.

When we prepare for confession, we can do an “Examination of Conscience” where we ask ourselves tough questions and examine how well we have lived out our faith, this is done prayerfully, and this is when we take our sins to Christ. We can and should do this every night. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is in addition to taking our sins to Christ, not instead of taking them to Christ. When we enter the confessional its Christ that we meet there, the Holy Spirit acting through the priest to allow our human ears to hear the powerful healing words “I absolve you from your sins”

This Sacrament is really a blessing, a wonderful gift that Christ has given to us. A gift that came with such a heavy price, the price he paid with his life. It should be difficult, it’s always difficult to admit that we are sorry, that we are wrong and we need to be forgiven. In this Sacrament we find true healing, we find God waiting to shower us with his love and mercy.

Any questions? Send them my way. I look forward to clarifying any of these points for you.

Cardboard Testimonies

A good friend sent this to me in an e-mail. Very powerful video prepared by a Protestant church with very powerful messages from others who have found Christ.

It is so true that we all have a story, don't we?

What would your cardboard testimony read?

Watch the video

Then share what your cardboard testimony would read here.

My cardboard testimony would be:

Struggled for years in unfulfilled marriage

FLIP SIDE

Found true freedom and fulfillment when we let God take control

Small Successes

Can you believe a week has gone by already?

Well, my husband is off for a Men's Spiritual Retreat, while I miss him dearly, I couldn't think of a better way for him to spend Valentine's Day then to nurture his friendship with Christ.

So what are your small success this week? Post them here.

Here's mine:
1. Made time to enjoy breakfast that my husband made for me this morning. ( I don't usually have time to make/or eat breakfast on weekdays)
2. Got some shopping done at the new Winners in town.
3 Set up some future dates to spend time with friends & family.