This passed weekend I had that amazing opportunity once again to attend a silent retreat. As usual with these weekends, I had no idea what was in store for me, what aspect God wanted me to work on in order to help me move forward in my spiritual life. The grace of these silent retreats has always been awesome to me; in the silence of our hearts we can truly sense God’s presence. I cannot express my gratitude in mere words for the holy priests who led the meditations this weekend as they allowed the Holy Spirit to work through them to reach the depths of our hearts and souls.
One thing that was revealed to me this weekend, which I must share with you, came to me in the words of Christ ( John 6:20) and our Holy Fathers, late Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI “BE NOT AFRAID”
During a break, I was taking time to reflect on the last meditation and thought it would be nice to implore Our Blessed Mother’s intercession, by physically spending some time with a statue of her. Outside the retreat centre, is a Rosary lane, and at the end of Rosary lane there was a statue of Mother Mary, holding the Christ child. It was in a nice shady area and there was a bench where one could sit and contemplate and be surrounded by nature.
I am not very fond of insects, especially one’s that insist on landing, crawling or buzzing any where near me. Well, as I sat on this bench, the whole time, there were these little insects, not much bigger than fruit flies that kept flying around me and landing on my arms and hands. Needless to say I was annoyed, and very distracted. I sat there for less than a minute I am sure, before I gave up on the idea and went back inside.
Once I was back inside, in a bug-free zone, I sensed that Mother Mary had used this to show me something. “Are not those pesky bugs, like the fears I have that stunt my spiritual growth?”
What sort of things are we afraid of in life? Are we afraid …
… God will ask too much of us, if we truly say “YES” to his will?
… of watching our children turn away from God, or are we afraid of watching them suffer?
… to truly face our own sinfulness?
… of making the necessary changes we need to make in our career, or our family life.
…to detach ourselves from material things.
Our fears that seem huge to us as we live our lives here on earth, to God in Heaven must look like those pesky bugs. Truly, those little bugs were not even stinging me, they were just landing and crawling and flying, but it was enough to make me change my path, my course of action. If they were stingers; surely I would have had more reason to fear the pain and consequences. In most cases though, insect bites cause a little annoyance, itchiness that will last a few days and then be gone.
Sometimes, fear is a good motivator for us to avoid what may be harmful to our souls. In this case, Mother Mary was showing me that the fears I have are unwarranted and even ridiculous in the grand scheme of things. She showed me that I am allowing those pesky bugs to hold me back from doing what is best for me and my family.
Of course in choosing to follow Christ, there will be struggles, Christ said himself, “pick up your cross and follow me” ( Matthew 16:24) “Do not let your hearts be troubled, have faith.” ( John 14:1) “I will be with you until the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)
Blessed Mother, I pray more and more souls will turn to you with their fears. That we will not be intimidated by your holiness, and instead implore your help to be able to say a resounding “YES’ to the call of your loving Son; with your example of faith, hope and love we will strive to live by your example in the same humility, piety and courage you showed as you accepted your vocation, help us to accept ours.
