This past month we found ourselves without regular access to our computer, internet or e-mail. Anyone who knows our family is well aware that we rely greatly on our computer. We have no cable and the work we do for the non-profit organization and our work as Marriage Preparation course instructors, relies greatly on what we can do with our computer. At first I was a miss as to why God would allow this to happen at the busiest time of year for us.
Then I sought this as an opportunity for a much welcomed break! I felt like I was on retreat, with radio, telephone and social outings being our only link to the outside world, all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with extra time for prayer and reading.
So what was the problem?
We soon realized our computer was not worth fixing and we would “need” to purchase a new one! Well, our financial situation has drastically decreased since I have responded to God’s call to be home for my family. So, there was that question again...Why did God allow this to happen when we are already stretched out financially?
Truth is I still don’t know why. However, not having a computer quickly became an impediment and not a needed break from doing God’s work.
Though having to “give in” to the unexpected, extra expense of purchasing a computer has made me reflect on those families who are in a similar financial crisis this time of year, but who did not freely choose to walk away from the security of their pay checks.
My heart goes out to you.
While some may see my situation as completely different, I am not so sure it is much different. I responded to God’s call by freely choosing to say “YES” first and then resigning. Perhaps, the loss of the job was not freely chosen for others, but for some reason God has allowed it to happen, and He may still be waiting for your “YES”.
He is waiting for our YES to His question: Do you trust me? It’s so difficult to give him our “yes” isn’t it? Even though I gave it to him when I walked away from my job a few months ago, I find myself having to say “yes” everyday, when I am reminded of the sacrifices we have to make as a family, or that I have to make personally.
I found peace in saying “YES” even through the sacrifices; I am constantly reassured at least on an intellectual and spiritual level, that God is looking out for me and my family, and we have all we need for today; tomorrow will be taken care of as well.
I have spoken to many others who are still looking for this peace in the midst of their confusing time of job loss and I want to say to you: What if you haven’t found peace because you are refusing to say “YES” to Christ. Trust him, if it’s difficult for you...tell Him so; He wants to be your friend, your confidant; He wants you to share your burdens and your tears with Him.
