Finding Peace

Finding Peace

This time of year I am certain many of us, mothers are beginning to feel busy, as our to do lists start to grow; gardening; spring cleaning; kid’s summer sports starting or about to start; preparing to celebrate 1st Communions or Confirmations; planning to attend a June wedding; graduations; planning summer vacation….. The list is endless and will obviously differ for each of us. No matter the differences, one thing is the same. We are busy.

While this year for me, I have had to “die” to many of the things I would like to get done, as I physically am not able to care for my garden, wash my windows, etc., the to-do list is sill in my head, while I accept that many things may not get done this year. I am reminded that we should never take for granted our physical ability to do work.

I also feel compelled to remind all of us, how important it is that we not give in to the temptation to allow ourselves to get distracted by the busyness of our lives.

As we enter into the 5th Sunday of Easter, which also happens to be a day to remember our Mothers, I think it’s important to take time to reflect on what may be going on in our hearts now. It’s a time when we are tempted to leave behind our Lenten promises to grow closer to Christ, and to make time for prayer, or ensure we are helping those less fortunate.

As our to-do list grows, we must remember to keep our peace, or else we’ll allow Satan to tempt us into resentment. When we become too busy and overwhelmed by all we want to accomplish we begin to have those fleeting thoughts…..if only my husband helped out more, if only my kids were better behaved and more responsible; if only my employer paid me more money; if only… if only…. (You fill in the blank) When we go this route, we’ll be compelled to allow ourselves to justify our resentments, impatience and self righteous thinking. We delude ourselves into believing that our internal peace comes from how others help us meet our goals. When this negative process begins we become uncharitable and selfish, which is exactly where Satan wants us to be.

So where do we find peace in the midst of our busyness? Remember Jesus’ words:

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Let us renew our Lenten promise to pray more, to nurture our relationship with Christ, and to be attentive to the needs of others.

St. Francis de Sales once said: “Each Christian needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy…then we need an hour.”
This Mother’s Day instead of thinking about how we should be rewarded for mothering, let us pray that our Spiritual Mother reveals to us a Mother that is need of support that we can reach out to somehow; whether by prayer or by inviting her for coffee, or offering to watch her kids for an hour or two.

There is a Mother who needs our help right now. A mother who is mourning the loss of a child, mourning a child that is yet to be conceived; A mother who is mourning the loss of her husband or the loss of her own mother. There is a mother who is too ill to help her family; a mother who is lonely in a nursing home, whose family may not come to visit her this Sunday; there is a mother who is being abused; a mother who is dealing with the pain and guilt of abortion; a mother who is lonely, because her husband left her for another; …..

If we are the one’s in mourning, or facing struggles this Mother’s Day, then our prayer to our Blessed Mother could be that She intercede for us, and bring us the support, and the graces we need at this time. Trust that She knows our needs and is watching over us and pleading with her Son to come to our aid.

Be Christ to someone else, for only in Christ will we find peace. Only in Christ will we find purpose and fulfillment in our menial tasks of mothering. Only Christ can show us the dignity of our work. Christ gives meaning to our struggles and our mourning. This way we will not be overwhelmed by our to-do lists, we entrust our list to Christ and He will provide the grace we need, to see clearly what tasks are of most importance. When we place Him first on our list, He will surely bless us.

I leave you with a Gospel quote from where I first encountered Christ, with the woman at the well…

Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life." John 4: 13-14

Image: Our Lady of Guadalupe by Vincent Barzoni

Honesty in Prayer

Honesty in Prayer

As if prayer could be anything but honest…however I am certain I am not the only one who has been foolish enough to think that I could withhold something from Christ. If I don’t bring it up, perhaps we can just skip that part of my life, while I pray on these other matters.

What do we withhold from Christ? In our pride, we may withhold praying for those who hurt us; failing to forgive someone. How do we expect that Christ will answer our prayer before we have truly humbled ourselves and forgiven those who have hurt us?

This is the key; it is once we have humbled ourselves that we can be truly honest in our prayer.

Remember, Christ already knows our thoughts, our words, and our actions. Most importantly He knows our hearts, if we want to truly be close to Him we have to first of all, guard our words and our thoughts, change our hearts, and act always in a spirit of charity, which is love in action.

This calls to mind a story I regularly share with my boys, written by L.J. Sattgast. A story about a boy who is working with his Grandpa in the garden, the boy plants seeds on ground that is filled with rocks. Of course, the flowers do not grow, no matter how much he waters them. So his Grandpa assists him to remove the rocks. In a few days, the garden begins to form with healthy plants & flowers. In the same way, we must remove rocks in our hearts. We form rocks in our hearts when we allow pride to set in, when we don’t’ forgive others, when we judge others, when we are not sincere with Christ.

St. Teresa of Avila said it best “ Pride is when we compare ourselves to others, humility is when we compare ourselves to God” Let us pray that we see ourselves as God does, that we be continually humbled by His presence and His unfailing love for us. Pray that we will treat pride as the poison that is to our souls, that we will continually strive to be rid of pride. Keep our sinfulness always before us Lord, that we may not fall into pride, that we will always approach You with a humble and sincere heart, in order that You may work through our flawed humanity to bring others to know Your love and mercy. Amen

Image: St. Theresa of Avila (1515-82) 1570 by Juan de la Miseria

Meditation on God's Love

Originally written: November 3, 2007

Luke 14: 1,7-11

It is not loving myself that will strengthen the mission Christ has entrusted to me. If I invoke God’s love everyday – that love will flow from me. God’s love is for me to give and not for me to keep. It should be overflowing, outpouring of love to everyone I meet. In loving others I will exult others and humble myself. I must constantly remember that. God’s love is to give to others.

As I love others it will drive me to act and as I shower others with love, I do not lose God’s love. God’s loves edures forever and flows continuously. The more love I have for others, God will continue to shower His love on me. That is why love is the greatest of all things. The power of love is never ceasing. I want to feel this way. To love God above all things. To feel God’s love and to give this love to others.

As I meditate daily on Chirst’s love at the foot of the cross and in his ministry – I see the love he continually shows to His friends, followers and to sinners. I must continuously acknowledge that God loves me this way too. He died for me, he loves me with all my sins, failures and errors. So too, I am called to love others despite their sins, failures and errors.

I Lift It Up To You

Originally written April 2, 2007

It brings me so much sadness
To see so much suffering
They wander the world so aimless
Don't they know You died for them?

My heart is so heavy,
I lift it up to You, Lord
How do I bring your love to them?

As the tears fill my eyes
I know only You can console me
I hear You say these words to me
"It's not your burden to carry, lift it up to Me"
So I lift it up to You,
And I will bring Your love to them.

Shower me with Your precious blood
That the world may see Your love
That I may bring Your love to them

You lift my heavy heart
Take away this pain
Make the sadness fade away

It brings joy, just to know You
Only You can console this heavy heart of mine
It's not my burden to carry, so I lift it up to You.

God's Will Be Done

I know it has been awhile since I have posted. There is no good excuse really, just been a little side tracked. However, something has weighed heavy on my heart these passed few days, that I have been compelled to write about.

Most of my blog readers are aware that I have been dealing with some physical issues that have been causing me, great discomfort and pain to my neck & back. To date there isn’t any major cause for alarm, though I am undergoing more tests to determine the cause of the pain. I share this here only because it relates to the topic of my post.

Over one year ago, I was struggling to forgive someone who seemed to constantly do things that were very hurtful. I took it to prayer and asked Christ to teach me how I was supposed to not only forgive, but continue to love this person? Christ used my neck pain to remind me that He himself is the greatest example of this by forgiving and loving those who hurt him. I could picture him carrying his cross, and falling down, but continually getting back up to continue the mission He came to fulfill. I found myself asking, “Why?” I realized, the only way to complete his mission, was to get up and move forward. He loves us so much; he wants to give each of us the opportunity to spend eternity with Him and the only way to do this is to be obedient to the Father, who is Love. So he gets up again, and again.

Recently, I had another realization. Many things are unclear as far as the test results, and I have experienced complications with physiotherapy, which have caused more questions. The other day, as I was reciting the Angelus at noon hour, the words of our Blessed Mother that I recite everyday, suddenly struck me as if it were the first time I said them. “Let it be done to me according to your word” For the first time, I made these words my own, and repeated them a few times.

I was reminded also, that with Holy Week coming up, I can also reflect once again on Christ’s example of suffering. For Christ also made a similar prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. Mathew 26:42 “If this cup cannot pass from me, your will, not mine, be done”. He did not come to take away suffering, but to give it meaning.

As much as I pray for the pain to go away, I have now been able to put this in God’s hands. Reassured that he loves me and knows what is best for me. Whatever lessons I must learn from this suffering, I will wait and pray that I recognize the lessons. I will continue to offer up my suffering to make up for my own sinfulness and for the sins of the whole world. In this way, I share in Christ’s mission. Holy Thursday will take on whole new meaning for me this year.

Will it take on new meaning for you? What form of suffering or uncertainties are you facing? Will you join me in meeting Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane and surrender to His will?

Image: The Passion of Christ movie - 2004

Don’t Let Others Tell Our Story: Faith & Family Live!#When:00:55:00Z

Don’t Let Others Tell Our Story: Faith & Family Live!#When:00:55:00Z

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Healing Power of Forgiveness

As promised here is my musing on the healing power of forgiveness.

First off, let put this in perspective. We recognized in an earlier post that “Our Choices Affect Others” therefore we can conclude that those who are especially close to us, our spouse’s, parents, children, siblings, close friends, etc. all those whom we have a relationship with are interested in maintaining a relationship with us, therefore we naturally make time to spend with those who are close to us, we will share our hopes, dreams our fears and our worries with them. We will talk to them and listen to them, support them and encourage them.

In our human nature we must also recognize that any relationship we are part of will at some point have conflict. We are individuals, with our own weaknesses and flaws that will at some point contradict someone else’s personality flaws and weaknesses. Yet, because we value the relationship, in most cases, (I’d like to think in all cases) we want to make amends and get passed the point of conflict.

In order to do this, it usually means that one of the two persons must recognize their own error and initiate the healing. Yes, one of the two involved in the conflict must be prepared to say a heartfelt “I am sorry.” These three little words can be very tough to say. As mature individuals in a relationship we know, that we are not perfect, that as much as we try we sometimes can be hurtful with our words or actions; we can and do make mistakes. We must take this further at times, and also show how sorry we are. I usually explain it to my children like this: The words “I am sorry” carries three essential ingredients that must be present for it to be sincere
1. I know and acknowledge that I was wrong, and that I hurt you
2. I want to make this better and this is what I will do to correct it
3. I promise to do my very best to ensure that I never do this again

This also means that the other must be prepared to say “I forgive you” In order to be able to forgive, the offended person has to truly feel that the other person really is sorry. It has to be sincere, in human eyes this can be difficult for us to judge, it takes some trusting and risking. That is why the offender must ensure their actions are clear and consistent. When the offended person, fails to trust or take the risk and instead with holds forgiveness, who do you think really pays the price for that unwillingness to forgive? The person who is sincerely sorry? Does it hurt the person who is caring around the hurt and distrust just as much?

Sometimes, we hold on to forgiveness because in our own pride we think that the other person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. The truth is, when we carry around that hurt, that anger, and distrust we are only hurting ourselves. Forgiveness is healing not only for those who want to be forgiven, but also for us who need to forgive. Unless and until there is a sincere apology and forgiveness, this relationship is stunted; there can be no growth or longing to spend time together, because the hurt feelings have not been dealt with.

At this time when we are preparing for Lent, which usually marks a time when we Catholics will also be preparing for our annual or semi-annual Sacrament of Reconcilation I challenge you to keep this in mind. This is how God approaches the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He wants to forgive you; he is waiting for a sincere apology in that confessional, so that you can both be free again to continue to nurture your relationship.

When we do and say things that go against God, our loving Father we choose to distance ourselves from God. God loves you, and he wants to spend time with you, he longs for you to spend time with him, he wants to help you, encourage you and listen to you. But, sin drives a wedge between you and Him. Imagine that God is on the other side of a window. When the window is clean you can see Him and hear him clearly. Now imagine that sin is like dirt that accumulates on that window, making it harder and harder to see him, eventually the window is so bad, perhaps a ball manages to break the glass, and now you can no longer see or hear Him at all. Going to confession, will repair that window and clean it up.

Many approach confession, like a root canal. Dreading every moment of it, and trying to justify why we don’t need to go. “Can’t I just take it to Christ? Why do I have to confess to a priest?”

I always ask, “Why don’t you want to confess your sins to a priest?” Usually the exact reason we don’t like to go, is why we should go. It takes more humility to voice our flaws, to hear ourselves vocalize our sins to another human being. Christ calls us to be humble, he told us to confess our sins to one another. He gave the first 12 apostles authority to forgive sins. The priest is acting on this authority, as successor of the first apostles.

When we prepare for confession, we can do an “Examination of Conscience” where we ask ourselves tough questions and examine how well we have lived out our faith, this is done prayerfully, and this is when we take our sins to Christ. We can and should do this every night. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is in addition to taking our sins to Christ, not instead of taking them to Christ. When we enter the confessional its Christ that we meet there, the Holy Spirit acting through the priest to allow our human ears to hear the powerful healing words “I absolve you from your sins”

This Sacrament is really a blessing, a wonderful gift that Christ has given to us. A gift that came with such a heavy price, the price he paid with his life. It should be difficult, it’s always difficult to admit that we are sorry, that we are wrong and we need to be forgiven. In this Sacrament we find true healing, we find God waiting to shower us with his love and mercy.

Any questions? Send them my way. I look forward to clarifying any of these points for you.