Sink or Swim

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to sit among a group of young adults and overheard one of them say, “I don’t really believe any of it (God, or the church) I just do all of this for my parents.”

I have to say I was very sad to hear this. Even more sad, that at the time I couldn’t think of a reasonable response.

However, as a parent what struck me was the awareness that one day, one of my children might say this – so I began to ponder, what if...

I’ve seen so many families who have had a child turn away from the faith, so I know my children are not immune. This would certainly pierce my heart, but not enough to make me despair or give up on them.

When I look back on my own youth, perhaps at some point I might have been able to say this very same thing. In fact, my actions did say this to God, loud and clear. I was going through the motions of a Catholic youth because I knew my parents expected me to, but I had not made the faith my own.

What would I have liked to have said that day, to that youth who made that statement?

It is the responsibility of us parents to pass on the faith to our children. We have to have an authentic faith, filled with hope and love. Of course, our hope is that our children will make this faith their own, but until the time comes when they are old enough to chose, parents must embrace the challenge of this responsibility.

If I had a swimming pool in my yard, I have the responsibility to protect my child from falling in, or teaching them to swim and how to engage in safe water play. It would be irresponsible for me to leave it up to my child to learn the hard way, risking that they might fall in and then wait and see if they would sink or swim.

However, just because I have a pool and have done my part to protect them or teach them to swim, doesn’t mean that one day when they are old enough to be left unsupervised (young adults) they might make a choice that proves to be detrimental or even deadly.

If I believe in fundamental right and wrong; I believe in the value of our mortal bodies and our immortal soul then it’s my responsibility to teach my children basic truths of the faith, which means I have to know the faith myself so that I have something to pass on to them. Even after doing all I can for them, if they still choose to turn away from the faith then I will hold on to hope against hope that they will come to see the truth, knowing full well that I cannot force them.

This reminds me of the parable of the sower. When we sow the seeds we don’t know what type of soil has been prepared for us, we hope some of it will land on good soil, and we trust that someday it will bear fruit. Even though some seed may land on rocks or thorns doesn’t mean we should stop sowing the seeds. If we stop then we risk that no seed will land on good soil.

When the time comes for our children to seek the truth, some of the seeds may at that time come to bear fruit.

This is one of the many things I find so awesome about how God works in our lives. He is not intrusive, and he never interferes with our free will. He sets up guidelines for us and then hopes we will come to appreciate that the guidelines are there to help us, not hinder us.

This same fatherly love that God has for us is how we as parents are called to love our children. We are not hindering their freedom; actually we are teaching them to live as free human beings and allowing them the opportunity to make an informed choice.